In Which Children Write Mildly Inappropriate Stories

Today I did a writers workshop with the incredibly awesome and fun C.A.T.S.S. In case you’re not in the know, that stands for Cool Awesome Teen Students of Summit. I was a member when I was in middle school, so it was really cool to be back and talking to a new wave of students! I also got to give away a few copies of my books, and they all seemed excited about that.

And let me tell you, when they found out what elementary school I went to, the crowd went wild. Go Washington! WOO!

We spent the hour playing a fairy-tale trivia game (and man are those kids viciously competitive! Love. It.), then did a writing round robin. I gave them a prompt, and two minutes to write what happens next in the story. At the two minute mark, they sent the paper to the person on their right. By the end of it we had about 14 wonderfully crazy stories.

I read these over a cup of tea when I got home and had to put the tea down lest I spill it while dry heaving with laughter. I’ve typed a few up so you can share in our hilarity. Enjoy.

Story One:

Hannah’s Favorite Story in the Whole Entire World

“Once upon a time, in the heart of an enchanted castle, there was a table; and on this table sat two frogs, a plastic model of a robot, and a well-oiled rifle. A bright flash fills the chamber and the two frogs are swept into a swirling vortex. Each frog becomes a handsome medieval prince and shakes themselves off. The bewildered prince watch a beautiful glowing blue girl appear. When the girl comes closer to the princes she turns into a witch. With her broom she smacks the princes to the ground and they turn back into ugly horrifying frogs. They hopped on her and she became a monkey. The frogs became princes, and the monkey became a princess. The princes then started fighting over the princess and started shooting at each other, one with a gun another with the robot. The one prince died, and the other ran away w/ the princess. He had knee cancer. Lalalalalalala, Tra,lalalalalalalalalalalalalala.”

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. WELL, ONE OF THEM ANYWAY.

Story 2: Princess Vs. Burglar

“Once upon a time, in the heart of an enchanted castle, there was a table; and on this table sat two frogs, a plastic model of a robot, and a well-oiled rifle. The young princess, Emilia, came into the room to find her father dead on the floor. There was a hole through his heart but no one could have shot him. There wasn’t a single person in the castle but her. She stared at the frogs and thought, was it possible that THEY shot her father? She took the gun and shot all over the place. Then an armed burglar came out from under the bed with a wound on his arm so he blew a shot and she flipped in the air and dodged the bullet she kicked the burglar and blew him in the brain. And took the ammo out the gun and went to search for more burglars. Emilia is shocked when after a swirling mass of wind, a handsome man appears to try to attack. ”

THE END…FOR NOW.

Story Three: Turkey Gon’ Bad

“Once upon a time, in the heart of an enchanted castle, there was a table; and on this table sat two frogs, a plastic model of a robot, and a well-oiled rifle. The table was made along time ago. The base was splintered. The snow was falling as Eddie Winter entered the room. He was making a robot but he was in battle. His studies were very well written. His notes sat upon the table, dust collecting on them with age. Eddie was at war for a long time. He liked pie. But he lied about the pie and said he liked turkey instead so he went to the king and asked for tons and tons and tons of turkey.”

THE END.

Story Four: The Passion of the Frogs

“Once upon a time, in the heart of an enchanted castle, there was a table; and on this table sat two frogs, a plastic model of a robot, and a well-oiled rifle. A man with a mustache walked up to the table and grabbed the two frogs to sniff their webbed feet. He took a test lick and set them back down. As he gently placed them down, a frog jumped and viciously chewed the man’s face, and then he spit it out and he made a ball of chewed up food and changed it to make snowballs. He then threw the food balls at the frogs when they both transformed into princes. The princes immediately grew a passion to find a true love. That trew love had to be a toad. But no toad wanted to be wed to the princes, so they flew to another land far far away where no one could find them.”

THE END…OF TREW LOVE!

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