Update On The Situation (and no, I don’t mean that guy from TV)

Could not look douchier if he tried. And he does try ever so hard.


As most of you know by now (or not. I don’t know. How many strangers are reading this?) my mom is in the hospital with some kind of weird face swelling sinus thing of doom. Basically, this means two things:

1. She looks like a cartoon character that ran into a bee hive

2. I’m sitting in the hospital room with her, and will be for most of the day. And possibly the night. And possibly tomorrow.

The fun never ends.

I’m going to try and get some work done while I’m here. But I’m also going to be bored, and distracted, and you know what that means. Nonsensical blogging! YAY. Aren’t you just thrilled.

Those of you who follow me on Facebook have already seen the early fruits of my day. In case you missed it, here are two beautiful haikus:


Today is a day
for terrible poetry.
Piss! Farts! Tee hee hee.


Ode to WiFi

WiFi Connection,
you stay with me through thick
and thin. Banana.


Luminous, I know.

Ooh Sir Patrick Stewart is on TV. Rawr. He’s a pretty sexy older man, but I think he’s gay. Is he gay? *checks google* Oooh no he’s not! He was married and I think he’s dating some famous talented chick. I was probably thinking of Sir Ian McKellen, a mixup I blame on the XMen movie franchise. ANYWAYS.

By the way you have no idea how much I wish Hugh Laurie would show up. He’s so delicious. I mean, not so much in his Jeeves and Wooster days, but growly Dr. House…! YUM. Am I right, ladies and gents?

Angst all you want, baby.

This has all been very diverting. Let me leave you with a last haiku:


Holy Sh-

Good jumpin Jesus,
but daytime television
is insipid. Ugh.


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