Jimmy Dean Sausage Commercial (aka, An Apocalyptic Vision of the Future)

So I had the TV on for background noise yesterday while trying to iron out the last few problems with my epub/pdf manuscripts. There was a commercial for Jimmy Dean breakfast sausage- you know, the one where they dress up a guy in a giant sun suit? Anyways, it occurred to my that these commercials were trying to do two things: A) get me to believe that breakfast sausage made in the microwave is as delicious as when it’s made on the stove, and B) establish a world where the sun is just a regular guy like the rest of us.

Let’s not even go near A, because that’s just impossible.

B was really freaking creepy, because it failed miserably. Instead of it being, you know, kind of cute and a little silly, I got the major heebie jeebies. Why? Because it looked more like a totalitarian future with a special psychotic twist. You’ve got this delusional man who thinks he’s the sun, which we know from his bright yellow sun suit. Ok, an eccentric, maybe.

But no- because that’s when you realize that he’s controlling the weather woman. 

She is literally repeating everything he says, and broadcasting live to presumably thousands of people. This means that she is either a robot or she is listening to him on a tiny headset. Either way, it’s clear that this sun guy controls the media. That makes him a scarily powerful dude.  In fact, he’s so powerful that he can do all this despite thinking he’s literally the sun. You look at his wife handing him a plate of sausage- probably made out of people- and suddenly her exasperated smile is revealed for the look of barely concealed terror it truly is.

I can’t believe no one’s noticed this before. Is the rest of the world crazy? Am I wearing a cumulus cloud right now? WHO CAN TELL.

This is just like when I figured out that those yogurt commercials are really about pooping. I can’t look at Jamie Lee Curtis anymore without giggling.


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