The other day I asked people on Facebook to share their favorite bad jokes/puns with me. I got an overwhelmingly awful amount of terrible jokes in response. Here they are, in all their stinky glory. If you see one of yours and you’d like credit, just let me know.
1) Q: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?!?
2) Q: What do you get when you cross a school of fish and a herd of elephants? A: Swimming Trunks!
3) Q: What’s long, brown, and sticky?
A: A stick.
4) Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
5) Have you ever heard the John Cage knock-knock joke? Here it is:
6) Two peanuts were walking down the street when one of them was assaulted. Peanut.
7) Q: Where did the umpire hide his lemonade?
A: Inside the pitcher.
8) There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says “is it hot in here or is it just me?’ and the other one replies “HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!”
9) There are two cows in a field. One says, “Hey dude have you heard anything about this mad cow disease?” and the other says, “I don’t give a damn, I’m a squirrel!”
And finally, my favorite, and the winner:
10) Q: What does a ghost use to wash its hair?